To Whoever the New San Francisco Owner Is

[McExpos]

Trade me Julio Aviles and you'll never regret it.

That is all.

[Felix]

Don't listen to him. Aviles belongs in San Diego.

[Tavarin]

Don't trust either of these two.

[McExpos]

Shhh. Don't listen to them, New SF Owner. They're just jealous.

Look, I bought you flowers. I already put them in water, too. They smell divine - just like you.

Now here, have a seat. Are you ready for a home-cooked meal? It's spaghetti - a family recipe. Oh, no, nothing special, just a little bit more garlic than you're probably used to. A nice bit of flavor. A real kick to the taste buds, right?

And after we're done eating, I'm going to put on some music. Something classy, like Chopin nocturnes or something like that. And then we're going to move this party to the boardroom, if you know what I mean. And you're going to give up Aviles. Oh, man, you are going to trade him SO hard.

[Jontler]

You guys are all going to scare the unnamed new guy before you even get a chance to pitch an offer.

(I'm the voice of reason in here and you should totally only trade with me)

[Nah-Lin]

Dont listen to any of them, no one wants to be the guy who trades his best player a few days after joining the league.....

[jadacormier]

There's a new guy? But I spent months and all that time and money taking the old guy out to dinner, going for long walks on the beach, and taking it real slow like so he would only give up his Aviles when he was ready, when he felt safe and secure... and now he's gone? No note or anything? Damn it!

Hey new guy, how you doing?

[SebastianP]

Since I am the newest guy, I should get dibs on the new new guy right?

[McExpos]

The bidding on Julio Aviles begins with Fraser Morrow and KJ Szema. Come find me, new guy.

[Jontler]

I've got a bead on a solid dip recipe.

[Felix]

Dear new Reds owner,

Don't settle for that offer. Matt (McExpos) will give up literally every single player and draft pick of use in his minor leagues for Aviles. You should refuse to trade him Julio until he complies.

Seriously.

Love,

Alex (Felix)

[Conan2785]

Please also welcome Harlock as the new GM in San Francisco

Not what Matt wanted to hear! An experienced GM!

[Harlock]

Let's not talk about my sexual exploits here.

[jadacormier]

I've got a bead on a solid dip recipe.

Let's not talk about my sexual exploits here.

This got weird quick.